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Truth In Labeling

In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods.

On a Sear’s hairdryer:
Do not use while sleeping.

(dang, and that’s the only time I have to work on my hair).

On a bag of Fritos:
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.

(the shoplifter special)?

On a bar of Dial soap:
“Directions: Use like regular soap.”

(and that would be how???....)

On some Swanson frozen dinners:
“Serving suggestion: Defrost.”

(but, it’s “just” a suggestion).

On Tesco’s Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): 
“Do not turn upside down.”

(well...duh, a bit late, huh)!

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
“Product will be hot after heating.”

(...and you thought????...)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
“Do not iron clothes on body.”

(but wouldn’t this save me more time)?

On Boot’s Children Cough Medicine:
“Do not drive a car or operate achinery after taking this medication.”

(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)

On Nytol Sleep Aid:
“Warning: May cause drowsiness.”

(and...I’m taking this because???....)

On most brands of Christmas lights:
“For indoor or outdoor use only.”

(as opposed to...what)?

On a Japanese food processor:
“Not to be used for the other use.”

(now, somebody out there, help me on this. I’m a bit curious.)

On Sunsbury’s peanuts:
“Warning: contains nuts.”

(talk about a news flash)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
“Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts.”

(Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?)

On a child’s superman costume:
“Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.”

(I don’t blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)

Originally submitted by Anne Lowell